Sunday, December 01, 2013

Last time I got VD...

...I pretended to not know that I had it so I could give it to my girlfriend & then blame her for giving it to me

Saturday, November 23, 2013

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

No Thankful!

Fuck Thanksgiving! 
This is an old one I did, but since Thanksgiving is coming up I thought I would post a drawing of me with one of those Baskin Robbins ice cream cakes that look like a turkey... remember, before you eat a cock this Thanksgiving, a lot of us vegetarians are more than willing to put out cocks in your mouth if it means sparing a turkey. I'll even wipe my broke ass dick down with an Axe Body wipe so it won't stank

I like Panda Bears...

..they make me happy!

Sunday, November 17, 2013

Being pregnant can be tough, relax have a beer and a smoke, you've earned it!

there was a short time in my life when I decided I hated everyone, so I made a fanzine that encouraged people to do bad things

Holy Shit! once again I'm drunk!

 I get drunk after work because I didn't kill a customer & I didn't jump off the roof of the parking garage

highbrow art at it's finest

This is what my underwear usually looks like... sometimes I wear camouflage undies because when I shart it enhances the design

Nothing but the best for my pets

If you are gonna break into my house, take whatever but if you could leave my pets unharmed I would gratefully appreciate that, I love my kitties and doggies. One more thing, when you are done taking shit if you could make sure the doors are closed so my furry friends don't get lost I'd also appreciate that.  

I want hot stuff (vegetarian) beef ravioli

you better wait before you take a bite, because shit is getting hot

Friday, November 15, 2013

Green Light Touching, Go!

The first time I had sexual relations with a woman I couldn't locate her vagina... the first time I made out with someone was also the first time I touched a sex part!

Monday, November 04, 2013

Eat My Pussy!

  The Riff Randals have a song on their split 7" with the Secretions called Video Trash Whore, it is pretty funny and a great punk rock song!

Sunday, November 03, 2013

Subsidize Your Income... Rob The Rich!

 Mother fuckers don't want to pay their employees a living wage, fuck them! Subsidize your income, rob the rich!

 Also, none of this lame ass poor people victimizing other poor people, people who do that need to die. I don't give a fuck what the excuse is... people who do that are pieces of shit that deserve the low wages the elites reluctantly pay them! Also skip the suburbs, sure we all love low hanging fruit, but those fucks are one paycheck away from moving into section 8 housing. People in the suburbs try to hide this by purchasing Starbucks on their way to work....

Monday, October 21, 2013

Monday, October 14, 2013

Having sex is a lot like listening to Mudhoney, for a short while in the 90's it seemed like a good idea.
ok I have to call bullshit on myself, I actually bump Mudhoney's Night Of The Hunted / Brand New Face 7" quite often, I think I was most annoyed that the guy with the Mudhoney T-shirt looked like Billy Ray Cyrus 

Tuesday, October 08, 2013

Fuck You Stinky!

If you are gonna show up to a punk rock show smelling like shit, fine! Just don't cry because we think you smell bad!

Thursday, September 26, 2013

Friday, September 20, 2013

No Shit Sherlock: Things People Say That Piss Me Off!

If you think I am stupid just say it motherfucker, if not… die fucking die! Also, I should have shot you in the face before you uttered “No Shit Sherlock” for your dumb as fuck “no fat chicks” T-shirt, so what if I wear a suit at work…. the shit I do to feed my family

one of my favorite things, is checking the mail and discovering punk rock records in my mail box

Monday, September 09, 2013

Circle Jerks - Group Sex is a great record

Last night on my way home from work I decided to get shit faced, while doing so I put on some tunes & whipped this shit up… when I was younger, not so fat, could get an erection, & I had a sex drive, I took part in a lot of sexy time that could be described as unconventional, but I never had the opportunity to take part in a circle jerk 

Tuesday, September 03, 2013

International Dipshit, Bat Lords, Shiva Thrash @ the Double Down Saloon this Saturday (September 7th 2013) be there or miss the cuckolding

 Another cartoon inspired by dip shit coworkers who repeat dumb shit they heard on the radio.

 You know what kind of person doesn't believe in apologizing? A fucking asshole!
 If you are not sorry, fuck apologizing! It takes courage to apologize when you realize you made a mistake or when you are truly sorry that you hurt someone.

 I get it though, the type that won’t apologize are also the fuckers that can never admit that they were wrong. They would rather hold on to thinking they were right than actually knowing what is correct.  They don’t give a fuck if they hurt people around them because they have their pride, fuck these people!

 As far as leaders apologizing, they are probably full of shit and don’t give a fuck, so if some asshole with a flag lapel apologizes about something, “fuck off” because Monday Night Football will be back on soon & the atrocities will continue to happen…

Monday, September 02, 2013

The Oppressed White Male

 I heard some fuck whine about how he has to be careful about making off colored remarks or some overly sensitive person will be offended. Fuck off! Sure, people shouldn’t be overly sensitive and act like PC assholes, but dickhead shouldn’t think that means being insensitive is OK. It has been my experience that these insensitive types get very offended when you start to bag on the hypocrisy of their religion or their backwards family values. 

Saturday, August 31, 2013

Old Punks Are Like Butts, They Need To Be Fucked

 Nothings annoys the shit out of me more than the old fuck that used to be into punk rock that now thinks it sucks because he or she now listens to Tom Waits or whatever. It has been years since they have gone to a show, read a fanzine, or bought a punk rock record but they spout shit like they know what is up. They don't know shit!
 I have no problem with them moving on to better things, but they need to get their decaying carcass out of the way...

Things I Miss About My Old Job #666

I don't really miss my old job, fuck that place! I do miss some of the interesting people I worked with... I used to work with a fellow Sri Lankan named Garvin (that looked like a brown Adolf Hitler), Garvin was a total pervert and would always ask me questions such as, "you fuck wifey?" &, "Brothah, you look happy today, fuck Bethany?"

One one occasion Garvin told me, "Sinhalese men don't eat pussy" & on another he told me, "Sri Lankan men are real men and that we need a lot of pussy", what a fucking ham! Luckily for me, Garvin never considered me a real Sri Lankan, he would introduce me to people like this, "this is Karl, his mother is from Sri Lanka"... go figure!

Thursday, June 27, 2013

I am sure this cartoon will not get me in to MENSA International… but it doesn’t take a high IQ to figure out that homophobes are assholes. Usually when I disagree with someone on something I usually understand their point, but when people are anti gay marriage it makes no sense why they would waste their energy on making gay marriage illegal when they could be doing other things like focusing on their pain pill addiction. 

 When I first got hired to work in the slot department I met a wise man from Hungary, his name was Józef and he gave me some words to live by, "I no kiss ass, I no buddy-buddy with supervisor, they know they fire my ass already!" Several years later they ended up firing Józef. I am not sure if his words were a self fulfilling prophecy, but I will always remember his words or wisdom

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Fuck You, J Edgar Hoover! When ever I read something about J Edgar Hoover I can't help but think, "what a dick!" The only thing I like about him are the allegations that he crossed dressed. I have worn woman's under pants and they are weird, even though I have a small cock my dick still plops out, go figure!

Friday, June 14, 2013

He whipped my ass in tennis... then I fucked his ass in bed!

 I love that Pansy Division song, this is a cartoon of my friend Danny & I reenacting that punk rock classic!

Monday, June 03, 2013

I have good news & bad news! The good news, I got a new job & surprisingly it’s a good one! The bad news, I now look like someone that watches Fox News!

My Favorite Way To Die

 I must admit this was done in poor taste...

Saturday, May 25, 2013

My Boss as well as your boss can eat my shit & or fuck

In the past I have had bosses try to feed me shit I know they think is total shit, fuck them for doing the upper managements dirty work, this is a drawing of me force feeding a fresh curry shit to one of them

Friday, May 24, 2013

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

If you eat meat I'll punch you so hard in the dick that it pops out of your ass... For the record I don't give a fuck if someone eats meat, I just get pissed off when they purposely start sporting shit about meat in an attempt to offend me... so this is me poking fun at those dicks

Monday, May 20, 2013

Sometimes when the action is hot, you gotta pump your throbbing cock filled with molten semen into a willing fucks dick hole & let it spray out of their asshole

Sunday, May 19, 2013

quite often I am accused of thinking too much... I often think about killing these people

Friday, May 17, 2013

Thursday, May 09, 2013

I often wonder at what point do my former punk rock friends think to themselves, "I wanna be like my mom & dad", I also wonder why they didn't give me all of their old punk shit, it will do them no good, I wouldn't mind having their old record collection.